Breaking News! Whales are not people after all!
Stop the presses. Whales aren’t people!
In a follow-up to my previous post about the whackjobs over at PETA, it seems as though common sense has prevailed, and a federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit premised on the claim that Sea World is keeping five killer whales as slaves.
According to the American Bar Association’s ABA Journal:
PETA has lost its bid to get a federal judge to hear its lawsuit contending that SeaWorld is holding five killer whales in violation of the 13th Amendment.
U.S. District Judge Jeffrey Miller dismissed the suit on Wednesday, saying the 13th Amendment applies only to human beings and offers no redress for the plaintiffs, five orca whales represented in part by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals as next friends. “As plaintiffs lack standing to bring a 13th Amendment claim, the court dismisses the action for lack of subject matter jurisdiction,” Miller wrote.
As much as I would like to continue this post, I cannot comment on ongoing litigation. You see, my cat is currently suing me in the federal district court for Minnesota on the basis of the 13th amendment.
Boy is he gonna be mad.